Self Empathy
We often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge our friends or loved ones.
We react more harshly to our own misdeeds and show less understanding of ourselves.
Here’s a thought experiment:
Think back to the last time you did something you berated yourself for, anything:
Spilled ketchup on your clothes, smashed the screen on your phone, or something else?
Now imagine that someone you care about did the same thing and found herself in a similar situation.
Would you be judgmental or more sympathetic?
Would you criticize her or try to support her?
You may find that you are less understanding of yourself in these situations.
That’s the way it is for most people.
It is often automatic.
This critical response to ourselves is embedded in our culture.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t change your reaction, it simply means that it’s a habit.
Empathy is the ability to build emotional rapport.
The ability to empathize with another person’s feelings.
Not to assume what feelings might be there, but to give space to the feelings themselves.
Empathy is not guessing feelings, but experiencing them.
Self-empathy is the ability to give space to my feelings that I don’t notice.
Making contact with my own feelings.
Those feelings that I usually suppress, or avoid.
They are not comfortable.
They are often unexpected and seem out of place and not logical.
Ones you don’t want to be with, ones you don’t want to feel.
Otherwise, there would be no point in suppressing them.
It’s both a habit and a skill:
- Treating myself with self-criticism is a habit. But treating myself with understanding is a habit as well. And it could be developed as well.
- The more I listen to my feelings, the more they are heard.
- The more I succeed, the more I’m inspired to keep going.
It can be hard to discern your feelings initially, they can sound like noise.
But by paying attention, you can learn to distinguish them.
The person you spend the most time with is yourself. Why not be your own close friend and support.
🧲 Subscribe to new posts: Twitter or Atom or Telegram channel