Opportunities for contact
People communicate all the time, but they don’t always become friends.
Even if people live together and are in a relationship, this does not guarantee closeness and mutual understanding.
What determines whether a relationship will become more intimate over time or not?
Is it possible to foresee this or even influence it?
In communication, opportunities for contact arise all the time.
Moments when someone becomes a little more emotionally open.
For example, someone sharing their problem, or their joy.
- If those moments go unanswered,
the relationship doesn’t become more intimate or sincere. - If those moments resonate and engage the other person,
it becomes the basis for emotional connection. And both allow themselves to open up more. - If such moments or expressions of feeling are blatantly ignored or condemned, the relationship is doomed.
There’s no basis for trust.
And when there is no trust that I will be heard, understood and accepted, I will think twice before sharing anything personal.
If sincerity is not encouraged by the interlocutor, I will have no desire to show it.
When in most cases opportunities for contact do not meet the response of another person - the relationship does not develop.
The opposite also applies - such moments can be noticed.
They can be created
Such points of contact are always there:
- A colleague looks sad and confused.
- An acquaintance tells about his problems.
- I myself want to share something, or need support.
It’s not a question of throwing myself at every opportunity to get close.
It’s about do I want a closer relationship with this person?
Am I ready
And if I do, am I ready to invest emotionally in that relationship? To be open-minded. And allow myself to be honest.
Trust is important. Showing attention sometimes is not the same as earning trust.
Friendship and intimacy are about trust.
Trust that I can be sincere and will be heard and accepted, at least to the best of my ability.
But not rejected in any way. Otherwise, it makes a crack and trust breaks down.
That’s why they say that a friend is a friend in need.
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