Building rapport and empathy



Important Agreements

August 25, 2023

Sometimes people agree on something, they agree on something,
but then it turns out that everyone understood the agreement in their own way.

This can be avoided by clarifying all the points at once.
Make sure that everyone has understood exactly as they expect.

What prevents you from clarifying at once whether everyone understood each other correctly:

  1. It is not always obvious that there is a misunderstanding.
  2. Clarification takes time.
  3. People can become irritated.
  4. May not want to be intrusive.
  5. Forgetting to discuss something.

If I can see and know these points, I can find effective ways to make sure that the arrangements are exactly as I see them:

  1. Ask about any points that are important to me, or even make a list ahead of time.
    Did I get it right?
    Have I been understood correctly?
  2. Ask for more time or an extra appointment, or discuss in chat.
  3. You can clarify the reason for the annoyance.
    But maybe people don’t want to discuss something they are not going to fulfill.
  4. Discerning is more important - not being intrusive or knowing that everyone understands the arrangements in the same way.
  5. Discuss again, or make a list ahead of time.

This can be boiled down to a question:
Which is more effective, clarifying nothing or clarifying everything at once?

In a little more detail:
What happens if you clarify everything that is important right away?
What happens if you don’t clarify, but wait until it turns out everyone understood the arrangement in their own way?

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